The man who never snapped

Have you ever noticed how some people know exactly what to say to make you lose it?

A sarcastic comment

A little jab

An eye roll

It’s almost like their mission is to push you into anger

We’ve all been there

And most of us?

We take the bait

But there was a man in our history who never did

His name was Ahnaf bin Qais

He was famous for his forbearance -

for not letting anger touch him

People knew it

admired it

and sometimes…

tried to test it

One day

a group of his companions thought:

“Let’s see if we can finally make him angry.”

So one of them walked up to him with the boldest request imaginable:

“I want to marry your mother.”

Now pause for a second

If someone came to you with that -

what would you say?

Most of us would explode

Bur Ahnaf?

He didn’t even flinch

He smiled and said:

“We’re not rejecting you because of your status. And it’s not because we wouldn’t want to be related to you. The reason is simple: my mother is elderly, nearly 70. And you are a young man in your prime. You need someone younger, someone who will grow with you and learn from your character.”

And then he ended with a line that still gets carried through history:

“Go back to your people and tell them you couldn’t make me angry.”

SubhanAllah

That’s strength

We often think the strongest person is the one who can fight

shout

or put someone in their place

But our Prophet ﷺ redefined strength:

“The strong man is not the who can overpower others in wrestling, but the one who controls himself when angry.” (Bukhari & Muslim)

Think about that for a second

Anyone can raise their voice

Anyone can storm off

Anyone can throw an insult

That’s easy

But to stay calm when provoked?

To answer with dignity when tested?

That’s rare

Shaytaan loves anger because it blinds us

In moments of rage

we break hearts

ruin friendships

and say things we can’t take back

And all it takes is a second of patience to stop that damage

The truth is

most of us aren’t being tested by outrageous requests like Ahnaf

Our tests come in smaller

everyday ways:

• a sibling making a sly remark

• a co-worker undermining us

• a spouse saying something careless

• a child refusing to listen

Those moments are where our character is shaped

We can either hand our emotions over to someone else -

letting them control us

Or we can take control

bite our tongue

and remember Allah

A reflection for you

So here’s my challenge to you:

The next time someone pushes you

ask yourself:

Who’s really in control?

Because strength isn’t proven in a wrestling match

It’s proven in silence

in patience

and in choosing calm when the easy option is anger

That’s what Ahnaf showed

That’s what the Prophet ﷺ taught

And that’s what we can all try to live by

Maybe someone will test your patience this week

Maybe they already have

When it happens

remember Ahnaf

Remember the Prophet ﷺ

I’d love to hear from you, what do you think of when anger comes up?

P.S. I share more like this on Threads and Instagram. Come say Salaam.

until the next letter,

— hidvyaa